Post Apotheosis

Live and Let Live

Monster Mercy Edition

Everywhere we go, we find horrors we cannot imagine. Even in old silver mine on our own land. Expect maybe find bandits, maybe half-dead, maybe some creatures that live below ground like land shark we fought on way to fight blue dragon. Never expect to find worm gods and their nightmare servants.

Along way, we find half-deads in the mine that hate Odda, we kill them. Then more come and we kill them. Then even more come and say if we kill them they will hate us, too. So I throw three of them in a hole with help from Muxelnux’s stone spidergoyle and everyone else kills the last one and they say that’s it they hate us now for real, too, but they don’t come out of the hole.

We also found machine men and had to break them because they were already broken in their heads. Too bad for machine men. Probably not their fault left alone so long underground.

We also have to fight a rainbow of giant worms in the mine. Red with fire and blue with lightning and white with head hurting and brown with weakening and purple with being gigantic and swallowing Tybalg, son of Tybalg, but making big mistake because even inside a purple worm can Tybalg rend flesh with Burn Blade. We kill them all except the brown one and Jiro banishes the white one. Brown one runs away to stinky place deep under the mine.

After we cut magic armor and wand out of purple worm belly, Odda puts on armor and Quarterjack figures out how to shoot webs with the wand, then we catch breath and then all jump into stinky place under mine using Muxelnux butt web ropes.

(Before meet Muxelnux, Tybalg eat only warm, raw meat. Caerdail says we’re all animals, so Tybalg, son of Tybalg, mostly used to eat small animals and then had to answer call of nature too often and for too long every time. Ever since Tybalg start jumping from high places with butt web ropes, Tybalg only answer call of nature twice a day and done very quickly every time. Tybalg recommend trying butt web ropes for all adventurers even if not eat small animals raw like Tybalg.)

Stinky place under mine is crawling with thick rug made of worms of all sizes. Same brown one we fight before is there. And white one that was banished by Jiro last time we saw it. Jiro says that can only mean the stinky place is where white worm is from and not same as place we’re from so we’re somewhere far away.

Little worms on ground make Tybalg not want to hurt worms. Quarterjack turns Jiro into giant ape and then giant ape Jiro also make friends with little worms and not want to fight worms. Soon God of Worms appears looking like torchlight after too much mushroom tea and breaks my head until I do what it says.

We are overwhelmed and hopeless no matter our efforts. Quarterjack can’t even talk, let alone making things funny. Odda is dying on top of a pile of dead worms. Ronnie tells my broken head a funny joke and I can’t stop laughing. And then God of Worms decides to have a conversation with not giant ape anymore Jiro as if old friends.

Demon Jiro says we’re sorry and won’t come back and the God of Worms turns Jiro into a demon monster and then we all fly out on stone spidergoyle and giant eagle and demon Jiro. And that, Buckler, is why I keep finding little worms in weird places and feeding them to you.

Tybalg done with go to scary places full of already dead or go to home world of gods or anywhere else with big magic things that can’t be killed. Silver not worth that. Go find own silver.

Tybalg only go to places to stop bad men from now on. Tybalg save others from bad men. Tybalg even kill bad men if only way to save others. But Tybalg go where Tybalg is big scary monster showing mercy, not bigger scarier monster showing mercy to Tybalg. That is not natural. That is maybe you don’t come here for the fighting, but come just to beg for life after. That not for Tybalg.

Tybalg has small and weak to protect from bad men that are smaller than Tybalg but bigger than small and weak. Stupid humans can slay their own big scary monsters.

Comments

ol’ jack can’t help but agree. his particular talents are much better suited to working a crowd than fighting ancient blind worm gods and their spectral kin.

Live and Let Live
Stephen_Scholz Muy

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